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This Week in Lumps
#50 [06/05 - 12/05]

· So, something a little different this week; seeing as this is the 50th entry (there or thereabouts, I’m sure with the Xmas entry and whathaveyou I’ve miscounted), I’ve decided to lay on 50 teeny lumps instead of the normal sized 2 or 3. A tasty selection of hors d’œuvre if you like- mini cocktail sausages, plain crisps and bread rolls, we’ve all seen them. So if there’s something you’re not fond of, you can always poke and prod it slightly, pick it up and question what’s inside it, and then put it back for the next person. Speaking of which, why does everyone always leave the cucumber sandwiches?

…Have I just admitted the unnerving fact that I’ve been to parties with cucumber sandwiches? Oops….

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· Bioshock the Movie is in development. To be honest, I’m not sure what to make of this, it seems that the TRS guys were spot on - the story was written for a video game, it’s impossible to tell it by any other means. I mean, those of you who’ve played the game will know that some ‘parts’ of the story (without adding spoilers) involve specific interaction between the user and the characters in the game, and portraying this on the big screen seems impossible. That being said, I’m intrigued, and hoping, nay, praying they don’t screw around with it too much, ie the Doom movie. Speaking of which…

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· Doom 4 has been announced. From Joystik:

“Resurrection was pretty conclusive, we don’t know where the team will take the Doom story next. Our guess? Probably send a space marine to Hell to fight demons. Perhaps this time he (or she) will pack a better flashlight.”

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· Last.fm is growing again, this time with a channel specifically designed for interviews with musicians. They launched last.fm/presents with “informal and exclusive chats” with artists including Moby. It seems everything that they touch turns wonderful. More!

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· Found on the bbc.co.uk/news page this week ‘Europeans get drunk ‘to have sex‘. In other news; the sky is blue, and the grass is green. More on that later.

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· Dammit, Scarlett Johansson is no longer single :(

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· Unsurprisingly, there are still hundreds and hundreds of GTA reviews pouring out of media outlets, and I’m sure, like me, you were bored after the first thousand. Here’s proof that it broke loads of records, here’s what happened when a guy let his wife play, here’s what a 70 year old dad made of it… jeez, stop already. These ‘niche’ reviews are only way these reviewers are going to get their article read. Lets face it, if you title the topic ‘what my hamster thought of GTA’, it’s going to get a lot more attention than anything you write from your own experiences of it. Sadly, writing about your own experiences won’t do you any favours either; the more mainstream reviews of the game seem to include no actual gameplay reviews at all, just a “laundry list of adjectives, characters, locations and narrative elements“. In other words, throwaway sentences that neither add nor remove desire to actually go out and buy the game (which is the whole point of reviews in the first place.)

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· This next list is a lot like Marmite, you’ll either love it or hate it. It’s 75 skills every man should master, apparently. You may not agree with all 75, but you may wan’t to adopt one or two.

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· Wow- Freddy Krueger-style Nike trainers. You’ll never want to own a pair, but you’ll pretend to your friends that you do. Along the same lines

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· Who on Earth would say no to a Nintendo remote style coffee table?!

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· Two new topics to mention from the world of tech, and more specifically the fingertips of online giants MySpace, Google and Facebook - MySpace is linking up with other sites such as Yahoo, Twitter, eBay, and others with ‘data availability’, meaning that public profiles, photos, videos and friend networks will now be portable from one site to another. Yes, cool, but with drawbacks such as… what about the rest of the internets?

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· Facebook, not to be outdone, announced the very next day that their Facebook Connect platform will be rolled out over the next few weeks. Similar to what MySpace are doing, the Facebook Connect platform will essentially be a new version of their API that was released back in May last year. Fro the readwriteweb article:

“The new API will give developers the opportunity to develop tools that will allow users to port their connections, privacy settings, and networks from their Facebook account to other third party websites. Essentially, third party websites will have access to features that have only been available to third party applications on Facebook itself.”

“Facebook says they’re “committed to enabling people to communicate and stay connected wherever they go”. Digg looks like it will be the first launch partner for the platform.”

Expect more on these two advances in social networking in future lumps.

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· Not to be outdone by those two, Google have joined the party. Click here to read about Google’s new social networking attempt.

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· Who kicks more ass; Batman or Iron Man?

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· Speaking of those two, and with the aforementioned TRS guys, I too have created my own ‘top 10 UK Summer box office hit’ predictions for this year. Whereas the TRS guys obviously went for the US box office, this is where mine slightly differs:

1. Indy 4
2. Iron Man
3. Wall-E
4. Dark Knight
5. Sex and the City
6. Get Smart
7. Kung Fu Panda
8. The Happening
9. Tropic Thunder
10. Hancock

and my three dark horses will be the new Narnia Film, Hellboy II and . No room for ‘You Don’t Mess with the Zohan (Adam Sandler just isn’t a hit anymore), The X Files and Mummy movies (It’s not 1997 anymore guys), and Love Guru (urgh…just… urgh). Of course I said summer, that being the reason why Harry Potter isn’t there (it’s not out until November 21st). Think Ive missed anything? Look here and let me know.

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· Can you believe it? It’s been 10 years since The Big Lebowski was released. Time flies, huh…

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· Two things I’m aiming to focus on over the summer are recycling, and food waste. I’ve realised recently that I’m buying more food than I consume, and need to reduce the amount I buy, and also reduce the amount of packaging that comes with it. The BBC ran a story on this recently for England and Wales, and the results are just unbelievable, especially when it starts with:

“People are needlessly throwing away 3.6m tonnes of food each year in England and Wales, research suggests.”

These not-so-subtle messages from Brazil may help you cut down.

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· US chain of stores BestBuy is coming to the UK. BestBuy is kind of like a B&Q crossed with Staples, or PC World, just a lot cheaper. You can thank the Carphone Warehouse for this.

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· New YouTube projects will be started this year, as Google said the website should be producing a profit of its own.

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· Ash are planning to play their debut album ‘1977′ in its entirety in London this September. Tickets are on sale this Friday. (You have to go, it’s a great album)

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·

“…Society decrees anyone who knows anything whatsoever about computers to be a boring idiot, while those possessing a similar level of nerd-knowledge of football or cinema or food are well-informed and sophisticated and sexually attractive and cool.”

Not my words, but oh how I wish they were. They belong to Charlie Brooker, talking about reviewing video games for a living.

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· Here’s 6 of the most frequently overused (and absolute bullcrap) statistics thanks to cracked.com

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· It hasn’t taken him long; Boris started to save Londoners money already. Could he actually prove to be a fantastic mare? Sorry… Mayor?

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· Someone has found prostitutes on Google Maps Street View. Fantastic, I can’t wait for the London one.

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· The cast of Withnail & I recently got back together for a BBC Radio 4 Reunion. You can read about how it became a cult here, or you can listen to the episode here.

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· Finally, if you can be found on Facebook, you might like to join the Fan page, to show off you love these pages, or just to be seen as being elite. You can find the fan page here. Other links that may interest you could include my Twitter account, which I last updated in 2006 apparently. If the mood strikes me, I may start using it more. I am aware that I once slated Twitter on these pages, so don’t expect me to start singing from the rooftops about how wonderful it may be.

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