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This Week in Lumps
#17 [11/09 - 17/09]

· It’s the news that Europe has been on edge to hear: iPhone is coming to Europe. An announcement has been made today (Tuesday) regarding a large money contract set-up with both O2 and the Carphone Warehouse, to be ready in their stores sometime this Autumn.

All the rumours, gossip and here’say has been going on since the US launch. It started appearing on these hallowed pages way back in week 6, when the rumours were that the networks battling it out were Vodaphone and T-Mobile, then a week later it was reported that O2 who were the downright favourites, which yesterday proved to be correct. It was reported that the popular phone company had sealed a deal at the last minute to market the iPhone in the UK.

Suspicions were aroused among journalists and bloggers when the notoriously hush-hush company sent them an invitation to today’s press conference, titled “Mum’s no longer the Word”. This announcement is predicted to spark a ‘frenzy of excitement’ similar to that in America where more than 270,000 units were sold in the first 30 hours. Such was its demand that thousands of crazy obsessed Americans queued up five days (yes, thats five whole days) before it went on sale to ensure they were among the first to get their hands on the coveted device. Some people go on holiday when they book time off work, others just…sit outside Apple stores.
Way back in week 3 I discussed the iPhones impact on mobile technology, concluding that:

The money shot is… It’s not hitting the wow factor for me. It looks good, but it’s not Earth shattering. I’m not blown away by the aesthetic values of it, but on the same page it seems to have missed that “does exactly what it says on the tin” look that I want from a mobile phone.

Over all this time, and all the press I’ve seen waiting for this announcement… I’m still not won over. It will win hearts, and it will be the number one Christmas present under the tree and in stockings this year, there’s little doubt in my mind about that, but it certainly won’t be appearing under mine. I’m not totally convinced about the ‘available immediately’ quote either: surely the whole point of a media frenzy is to build up the excitement, Hell, make the Brits sleep outside for five days!

No definite word on pricing at the time of writing (Sunday evening), but expect the 8Gb iPhone to be released at a price-tag of about £269. Stay tuned to www.apple.com/uk for the final word.

UPDATE: the live report coming in is that it will be on sale from the 9th of November, at the above price.

~

· Ten weeks ago I talked about 21st Century gadgets; I discussed the argument that they were merely for aesthetic purposes, concluding that this was not true, and they did indeed have a use in our everyday lives, rather than just being some kind of modern eye candy. However, practicality is not always top of our list when choosing between products. Sometimes, being ‘cool’ is all that matters.

This is echoed in a survey of the coolest brands in the UK, by independent brand research firm Superbrands, which questioned more than 2,000 consumers. In the list, two technology companies which are no stranger to these pages (Apple and Google) are dominant: Apple and two of its brands iPod and iTunes feature in the top 20, while Google and its YouTube subsidiary both appear in the top five. The list is topped by sports car Aston Martin, whose profile has been increased by the success of Casino Royale. As well as Google, other Internet brands such as eBay and Amazon appears in 13th and 20th position respectively. PlayStation and Nintendo both appear in the top 10 – significantly Sony, which manufactures the PlayStation games console, is not in the list.

The top 20, according to the poll, reads as:

Aston Martin, iPod, YouTube, Bang and Olufsen, Google, Playstation, Apple, Agent Provocateur, Nintendo, Virgin Atlantic, Ferrari, Ducati, eBay, Rolex, Tate Modern, Prada, Lamborghini, Green & Black’s, iTunes, and finally Amazon.

Stephen Cheliotis, chairman of the Coolbrands Council, talked about the list, saying:

“The top 20 is a reflection of our changing needs, wants and interests, you could argue that it’s split into two pretty clearly-defined categories – on the one hand, things can become ‘cool’ by virtue of their necessity or prevalence in your life, like Google or Amazon. On the other, the things you really want, but may know you’ll never get – like a Rolex or a Ferrari – are considered just as cool.”

So what can this list tell us about successful brands? Better yet, what is cool? Well, at wikipedia (which itself is very cool indeed), cool is given 3 characteristics, which explains it as well as anyone could:

• “The act of discovering what’s cool is what causes cool to move on”
• “Cool cannot be manufactured, only observed”
• “Cool can only be observed by those who are themselves cool”.

So these brands are not ‘created’ cool, they ‘become’ cool by the ‘cool’ people who use them. It begs the question: “How do these people become cool?” Sadly, according to point one, if we were to find that out, it would move on. Can you can make something ‘cool’ by using something that is yet to be defined as either cool or non-cool, and telling people it is cool to use it? The safe bets are that if your product has an avid fan-base, serves a strong purpose in your life, and you don’t mind telling your friends about it: it is a strong possibility it could be considered cool.

Personally, I like the last point in that list; it explains wonderfully why I don’t own an Aston Martin. Hey, it’s better than saying you can’t afford one, isn’t it?

~

· Keeping on the subject of the gadgets, here is the breakdown of the iPod prices, as covered last week: the iPod shuffle- £49, the iPod nano- £99 (4Gb) and £129 (8Gb), the iPod Classic- £159 (80Gb) and £229 (160Gb), and finally the iPod Touch- £199 (8Gb) and £269 (16Gb). Now, many of you will be sitting there in your chairs and sofas, thinking to yourself “Damn, looks like I’m going to have to sell the TV to pay for my new iPod”. Well fear not, brave soldier, the TV can remain.

For those among you who, like myself, find that every now and again you’re limited to what you can and cannot do, because your wages haven’t been put into your accounts. Nationally known as ‘PDS’ or ‘Pay-Day Syndrome’, you find yourself counting down the days before you can enjoy yourself again, before you can see your friends and, like the predicament above, before you can find yourself walking into the Apple Store shouting “I’ll have a damn fine iPod, good man!”

Everyone above a certain age is used to the feeling. There used to be brighter times: I remember the first time I had my wagepacket arrive in the post. I can even remember the first time I was moved onto a monthly payday in my first proper job. The day ends, and you find yourself smiling at strangers on trains, coupled with the occasional ’schoolgirl-giggle’ and sometimes even some skipping back to your front door… before the euphoria of it all fades away but a mere week later, after bills, rent and ‘that Friday after work, where you didnt get home till 3am’. I can also remember paying rent, and wondering what on Earth I had to do for dinner.

But cometh the hour, cometh the…blogger. Mary, from the aptly titled fool.com is here to make sure we keep our heads and our wallets in check. She begins:

“Do you get hot sweats, a cold fever, a nervous stomach, or something worse when you peer into your checking account on Tuesday and find it empty — then realize that payday isn’t until Friday?”

She gives us a five-step plan to keep us out of the red, a guide to help us get a good nights sleep. It’s a good read, which you can see in its entirely at that link, but to summerize:

1. Evaluate your illness: Add up your good debt, and compare it to your bad debt.
2. Attack the illness: Put together a plan to pay off any debt that’s too much of a burden as fast as realistically possible, with the bad debts at the top of the list.
3. Cure your denial.
4. Take some preventive medicine. Set aside a little bit of money every month in an emergency fund.
5. Relax.

Mary, you could be a lifesaver to many. Kudos!

One final note, going back to the previous lump: If you can survive after the more practical items like rent and bills, but slip up on more ‘cool’ purchases, you may be interested in the following website: PriceAmbush tracks product prices and emails you about significant drops. Search for a product on PriceAmbush—like a Wii, or an iPod—and click the “Add Alert” button to enter your email address and target price.

Just in time for Christmas, too! (I’m sorry, was it too early to mention?)
~~~

That was the week in lumps, a week in which: I broke my promise last week about less Apple talk (Next week will feature something different, I promise), Google turned 10, Wikipedia now has over 2 million English articles, and Fred Durst looks like a twat with a beard.

and finally, I wanted to talk about Led Zeppelin, but I shall leave that for another time, and instead leave you with a joke… A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, “You’re quite a celebrity around here. We’ve even got a drink named after you.” The grasshopper says, “You’ve got a drink named Steve?”

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